Prayer Single View

I need support in prayer. I haven't been honest with my spouse. I never took ownership from all my mistakes. My spouse always been good to me and she never gave up on us, I pushed her over her limits . I keep making excuses that I will change but I never fully committed. My spouse did everything she did to help me but selflessness and pride is hurting the people that truly loved me the most. God is angry with me. Please pray that I keep this change I striving for is getting in a relationship with God and love him genuine because I am tired of my old self, I never want to back who I always been a liar, cheater, both emotional/phy abuser, toxic, not safe, not hold promises, not holding myself accountable, disrespectful, controlling, playing the victim, manipulator, always angry, shame and humiliate spouse in public, not showing loved to the people that loved me most, jealously, not able to get things done. This stop now in Jesus Name. Old self is not welcome to hurt my family no more.